Today marks the last day that I will be an Arizona resident. I am a mess of emotions. Happy, sad, grateful, resentful, hopeful, terrified, brave, cowardly, faithful, fearful...loved. When I came to Wickenburg on March 28, 2006, I had no intention to stay. I figured I would go through treatment and go back to life in Oregon as I knew it. Instead, I stayed for more than four years. I came to town defeated, broken, a shell. I came alone. I didn't know myself, I didn't know my family, I had few friends who would still put up with me, I didn't know God. I came with my suitcase and my dreams of a better life.
Four years later, I'm leaving. Finally. But I'm leaving with so much more than I arrived with. In Wickenburg, I met my husband. In Wickenburg (and Buckeye), I met my children. In Wickenburg, I was reintroduced to my family. Since coming here, I've been reacquainted with God. I've met some of the dearest and truest friends I could ask for. But most importantly, I've gotten to know myself. Not the self I hoped I'd be, or the self that I wanted to be. Just me. And that me is okay today.
As I sit here, on my bed, between my kids, I can see out into my backyard, and beyond that, into Wickenburg. I can hear the birds chirping through our open window. I can see the boxes full of our things, ready to be moved to a completely different place. A new town awaits. With different birds. I guess the things that really matter will still be here though. I'll still be able to sit on my bed, between my kids as they rest peacefully.
I never, ever would have guess how much this small, sleepy town has given me. I will forever look to this time in my life with a smile. I came with my suitcase, and I'm leaving with my life.
